I would not understand this part of myself for years to come.” The reader senses Edafe Okporo is a sweet and forgiving man still somewhat confused by his own inclinations: “I did not know what it meant to be gay.
His mother encouraged him to study, perhaps sensing this might provide a pathway for him. He joined the debate team at school, and enjoyed participating in conversations about the history of Nigeria, but concedes “I wasn’t a true Warri boy….In Nigeria, gender stereotypes and roles were strongly adhered to-a boy who was too close to girls in the classroom and spend a lot of time with his mother was an atypical picture of masculinity.”
He loved his childhood friend Gloria who walked to school with him, and he cherished his family despite his father and elder brother’s disdain. Somehow all this tyranny didn’t destroy his spirit. They beat him senseless for his effeminate ways. Okporo admits “This was just one of the many times I found myself stuck in the parade of masculinity and intimidation that was so common for Warri boys, but that I could not bring myself to be a part of.” Later on, his peers mocked him for the unisex bag he carried to school. He knew this sort of behavior made him a target. He loved to accompany his mother to the market clinging to the hems of her skirt. Even as a young Nigerian boy, Edafe Okporo knew he was different.
